and at the end you start thinking about the beginning.



it seems like everytime i want to tell you everything,
i cant bring myself to do it directly
because..
i think im afraid.
yeah, i am.
im afraid that things'll turn out badly after that.
and im really afraid of being afraid.



i know that
you might not probably give a damn about all this.
you might just stop reading from this point of time.
you might not bother
and just think of it as another chunk of bullshit words.
but you know something?
i do mean every single thing i say.
and i dont care about what you think
at least i'll know that i did try
although nothing might change after all of this
but its okay.



i know i made a mistake.
and you have no idea how much i regretted it.
it almost drove me crazy.
you might think im some fake ass shit head
yeah, i'll agree with you.
but i promised myself i'd change
so that i'll be a better person
and we could all be happier people.
and i did it for the main purpose and sake of our friendship
to build back whatever was left
to start anew
and yet.. when i see you,
it really feels like i dont know you anymore.
why



everytime i ask myself why this happens
why there's so much of pain everytime i look you in the eye
why whenever i see you, i suddenly run out of things to say
and i still come down to nothing.
if you're still mad at me and everything,
thats understandable.
but just come and tell me?



what did you really mean when you said
you'd really put the past behind us and forget everything that happened?



im trying everything in my power to make this friendship work again.
i dont know if you're doing the same
but i hope you are.
and if you're not,
i should probably just give up.
but you know what.. i dont want to.
and the only reason why this is so is because
i treasure you far too much.



maybe you dont care or treasure me
as much as i do to you
but just tell me,
do you want this friendship to work again?



maybe its been easy for you to just forget me
after all, who am i right?
but im sorry
i cant do that.
you came into my life and made such a huge impact in it
so just letting you walk outta my life like that
and pretending like you were never there,
im sorry
but its really been difficult for me.



i cant pretend
that i dont miss you - when i do
that i dont know you- when i do
that i dont care about you- when i do
that i dont feel the hurt everytime i see you- when i do
that i dont think about you- when i do
that you dont have a special place in my heart- when you do.



where does our friendship stand now?
and if im a problem in your life
please, just come and tell me.



i just want you to know that
i've always admired you
and the things you do.
there's really no other person like you
and thats something more than normal.



no matter what happens after this
i just want tell you that
if you need anyone,
i'll be here as always
even if i might not be as important as the rest.
stay happy alright.
sigh.



because i dont know you anymore
i dont recognise this place
the picture frames have changed and so has your name
we dont talk much anymore
we keep running from the pain
but what wouldnt i give to see your face again.




tell me,
will things go back to the way they were?




computer's wet.